Re: (CS4U) Loving Difficult People

Really trying to do this. At the moment, except for my daughter, I
don't think I have even one truly authentic friend here in real life.
I have some people from church but no one real close. I have
absolutely NO close friend who is sober, not messed up by pot,
alcohol, or meds. I just want one real life clear-headed
authentically HONEST friend who has a mind free from any
mind-altering drug, legal or illegal, who I can be with in the "here
and now" in person.
Can you even talk about "truth" anymore? Not hardly. Everyone wants
it all to be
nice and happy. It's like everyone is blind and do not want to see.
Well, I can't be like that. So I have Jesus who is my best truly
authentic friend who will allow me to be radical for the truth in Him.
Thankful for that. Yet I still desire a kindred soul for a friend,
who sincerely desires the truth.
So how DO we love "difficult" people? When I am the "difficult"
person in their immediate world also??? Does it mean I have to listen
quietly, nodding my head, smiling sweetly, suppressing my true
opinions? Is that part of what it means to take up my cross?
There is one particular person I have committed myself to love.
Believe me the loving feeling isn't there all the time. And when it
is there, she never fails to "twist the knife" with her backstabbing
and ruin the good friendly feeling. Yet to my face, she is nice.
Others have said she "keeps me around" because she can manipulate me.
Well I guess she does to a point. But when I stand my ground on a few
things, she continually goes behind my back trying to undermine me,
like a spoiled brat who can't get her way. I have continued to put up
with it, have not bailed and run, although I have been urged to. Been
told to quit being the martyer. It hurts my heart.
Love is telling me to keep going until the end, so I will. Maybe it
will be a lifelong relationship like this. Maybe she will just dump
me and go on. I will just pray for God to work it out, because I am
just not sure what to do.

On 12/17/10, Toni Obodzinski <obodzinski@gmail.com> wrote:
> *Loving Difficult People*
>
> **
>
> If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.
> Romans 12:18
>
>
>
> 1) Perspective. How do you see yourself? How do you see others? Understand
> this: it is impossible to consistently behave in a manner that is
> inconsistent with the way you see yourself. If you see yourself negatively,
> you will see others that way too. The opposite is also true; people who see
> themselves positively, look for the good in others and generally find it. It
> is all in your perspective.
>
> 2) Process. Do you understand that every relationship goes through stages?
> Some people see a relationship as a series of isolated incidents and as a
> result, one bad incident can ruin it. Their friendships are precarious
> on-again-off-again associations. They run every time a difficulty arises;
> therefore they seldom, if ever, develop long-standing relationships.
>
> 3) Problems. How are you handling your relationship problems? Here is how
> God says you should be handling them. 'Love never gives up. Love cares more
> for others than for self ...isn't always 'me first,' doesn't fly off the
> handle, doesn't keep score of the sins of others ...puts up with
> anything...always looks for the best, never looks back, but keeps going to
> the end' (1 Corinthians 13:4-8). Stop! Read those words again and let them
> sink in. This kind of love is an act of your will, not a product of your
> emotions. It is based on a commitment to love. Make that commitment today
> and watch things begin to change for the better!
>
>
>
> *Prayer
> **Heavenly Father, help me develop a love for others that is an act of the
> will, and not only my emotions. In Jesus' Name, Amen*
>
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