Thank you LuAnn. We have talked a couple times. He was actually grateful because he has issues I am aware of and the only one who could talk like that to him. I had to tell the women at work to back off....they just kept telling him what a jerk he was having a girlfriend and talking to me. Well I just found out about it the 5th!! It was making him feel very bad. He has a pattern with relationships. I just wanted to try to help him (and her)., then agreed to the no contact.
We didn't see each other but talked a minimum of once a day. Both being alone it was a nice friendship and yes it hurts to let it go. But for his well being (that has a lot of other issues), I just had to let it go.
Seriously I don't think it will happen after checking on all the laws or it will take a long time. I told him that and that the people he tossed away for her may not be anxious to trust being his friend again should it not work out. I talked to my ex when married to Paul. No not daily, etc., but for BD's, etc., occassionally, briefly. He had no problem with that.
Anyway I hope he takes some of the advice I gave him. This is a BIGGIE and he needs to be emotionally and mentally ready. I don't think he's grown in those areas from childhood for some reasons.
Well, I wish them well. He is/has legally changed his name as well to Yury Galenovich Petrov. Had a You Tube about it but I missed it, he closed the account. He said he had decided he wanted a mate but it had to be a Russian one!
Love & HUGS,
Toni
On Thu, Apr 14, 2011 at 3:13 PM, LuAnn Phillips <lulafilippi@gmail.com> wrote:
Toni,Reading this reminds me of my ex-fiance. The last day I spoke with him before he got married, I told him...this will be the last time we will be able to see each other. He vehemently said No woman will ever tell him he couldn't be friends with me. I told him I knew what she was like, and she will be too jealous of our friendship to allow it. He actually got angry with me for suggesting that, since in his eyes, she was the greatest thing that had ever happened to him. Need I say, She has jealously never allowed us to have a conversation the few times I have seen them. The mostheartbreaking thing about this is, her daughter is best friends with my sister's daughter,( my neice and goddaughter). And I am left out. I used to feel bad. Not anymore. A few years have passed since their marraige, so I am doing okay with it. I still have tons of his stuff and papers and his mother's stuff in my house. At first seeing the stuff made me sad, then mad, now I am happy I kept it all because my memories now are the good ones, and I know his mom meant for me to have everything she gave for me so I will keep the things I have in special memory of her.ANYWAY, Toni, I do believe you were a special part of Paul's life, but when the new woman in an ex's life wants all ties with the past cut, you see he will go her way. WE may be more easy-going about this stuff with our relationships, but some people are just not able to deal with their loved one being in contact with an ex. Sucks, but whatever the reason, we will just Trust in God to take care of the hole they leave. It does get filled up after awhile with better stuff!
On Wed, Apr 6, 2011 at 2:15 PM, Toni Obodzinski <obodzinski@gmail.com> wrote:
Thank you Bren. Yes it is very heartbreaking because I thought we had a real friendship. No romantic involvement. And under different circumstances I would be happy for him had he met someone, told me as you would a friend and then decided to marry. I never expected him to put his life on hold after he left me. But these circumstances are hurtful for many reasons. He claims he loves her very much and so at her request without any dispute, discussion, etc., decided to do as she said and do away with our friendship immediatedly. But I think now it was easy for him to do because now I don't believe he felt a true friendship with me as I did him. I was there when he needed someone as I was his only constant friend. But as they say, God puts people in your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime. I was apparently just a reason to have someone to care for him until he found his true love.HUGS,ToniOn Wed, Apr 6, 2011 at 8:23 AM, brenbear2260@gmail.com <brenbear2260@gmail.com> wrote:
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